Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My brother

Today I woke up and over heard my family arguing, and all of a sudden "my brother" mentioned my name, Then i listened a little more closely and heard him say something about him needing the internet and i don't because all i do is go on facebook and make fun of "my family"., and something about kicking someone out I don't really know. I feel like I've been watched, spied on, and honestly "stocked". And looking back on the whole facebook crap is a lie. I feel like he took my words and assaulted me with them. I have never made fun of mom or dad on Facebook, I wrote something about him but i dont even have him as a friend on there. Chrit don't you dare take my words and use it against me as if i said something wrong...Is it wrong to express myself, even on the internet? because Im sure as hell everyone does it. What i said about you is the ugly truth, "My brother is such a lazy ass bum...he just started going to work,but he don't want to help around the house., goodness what could you be doing in your room all day n night?" and that wasn't even making fun of you, I was mad because dad needed your help in the back yard and you told me "tell him im sleeping". I don't have a job or work but at least i do help around in the house...When mom or dad tells me to do something little like cook the rice, turn off the oven, take the fish out and this and that i do it, and you sit in your room all day not wanting to hear a word they say just you and your computer buddies. Honestly I feel bad and horrible about the way I have been treating you, we use to be soo close and I really miss that but time pass and people change. Its not like I hate the crap out of you that I want to push you away, its the way you act in front of me. Im pregnant I don't want anyone touching me or "a hug" and you constantly ask for hugs and it aggravates me because your my brother. Im having a baby soon and can't act the same way I use to around you, I can't playing around and have fun like you. You have it easy, you have a job, a roof under your head, your own computer, internet, and you can go to school, well i don't know about now anyways but you have friends and people you can talk to. But me Im dealing and worrying about the baby, school, GHSGT, Isaiah, getting a job, how im going supporting my baby, getting rides and all of the responsibility for now and in the future. I don't know what point Im trying to make...All I want you to do is next time in an argument don't try to take me down with you, that really hurt my feelings..when mom yells at me about something I did I don't blab about the horrible things you do nor try to make you look bad. I thought you were above that...but no matter what your still and always going to be my big brother. And I hope reading this helps you understand me just a little bit better...I didn't write this to make you angry or anything like that. This is the only way i feel like you will listen, i dont even think your even going to care. You don't have to write back just try to understand.